This Is Not What I Signed Up For
"This is not what I signed up for." Raise your hand if you've been saying THAT for the last year and half. Maybe longer? (Guilty)
Honestly, I think this has been my mantra for MUCH LONGER than I'd like to admit. I watched the business I'd spent 11 years building crash and burn in the wake of 2020. As a mother I found myself led to choose between my family and my work. Somehow, it was the easiest and hardest choice I've made all rolled into a giant dumpster fire of emotion and chaos.
So I did what any sane person would do in this situation, I started a new business and named it exactly what I was feeling: "This Is Not What I Signed Up For, LLC."
This was a real "phoenix rising from the ashes" moment for me, but it sure didn't come easily. There were some rage tears, genuine fear, major self-doubt, and full on pouting before I knew this business HAD to happen. Confession: I'm not (usually) a drama or "feelings" gal. Thanks, 2020. I'm actually a little Spock-like. I mean feelings? Shudder. It's a Type-A control thing for sure, but it's who I am.
Failure to launch.
As a holistic mental health specialist and pastoral counselor, I have a passion for helping people find balance in every aspect of their lives: mind, body, heart, and soul. Each area affects the other. For optimum health and wellness, we need to pay attention to them all. If you're feeling overwhelmed, this business, this blog, this site was made for you.
When my mind shuts up long enough for my faith to kick in (and thank God it does) it is like R2D2, quietly and calmly working in the background. While I agonize God has kept our family safe, financially stable, and mentally stable (sort of) since all the COVID mishegoss started and long beforehand. This is my God. Powerful. Reliable. Ever present.
I said I had faith, I didn't say it made me smarter. Curse you, neurons!
My job has always been listening to others talk about their most private struggles. Now, I want to turn over a new leaf and join you in the vulnerability of sharing. I'm a parent too and I'm in this with you.
Hey, I'm a work in progress, people.
Here's what I learned: my inner monologue is the freakin' worst.
Think of the most insufferable boss, friend, relative, or relationship you've ever had all rolled into one and they are constantly talking...
In. Your. Head.
In this season of life, my strength has come from leaning on my faith more than my mind (the struggle is real), connecting with a community of faith, reinvigorating old friendships, writing, spending more time with my immediate family, and appreciating our homestead with new eyes.
Wherever your faith, strength, and resilience comes from, I hope it is a source of quiet, reliable comfort. I hope you'll find some of that here. We could all use a little less C-3PO and more R2D2 in our lives.
Frankly, I could just use a droid to clean the bathrooms. (Send help, seriously.)
Until then, may the force be with you. You know, as long as it's not from the last year and a half, because that force has some seriously funky Juju. Just sayin'.
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